Mixed Signals Read online

  “Holy shit, is that a Learjet?” Benjamin stalled, literally, with one foot in the air.

  “Yeah, but we’re not flying that. For one thing, I hate that plane. I liked the 70 model, but the family got too big and Father moved up to the Learjet 75. Not that we’re all allowed to fly together at the same time. Someone’s always got to be on the ground.” Frank headed around the jet toward the Mooney Ultra, grabbing Benjamin’s elbow to keep him moving.

  “Right, worst-case scenario.” Benjamin was still staring at it.

  Frank nodded. “Gave Mother nightmares. She wouldn’t even fly with him until we were all over fifteen so at least one parent would be alive.”

  “Fifteen?”

  Frank shrugged. “I have no idea why that was the cutoff, but when I hit fifteen, she starting going on business trips with Father. Guess she figured we are all old enough to survive on our own, if it came to that.” He stopped, cringing. “Ah, shit. Sorry. I was running my mouth.”

  Benjamin rolled his eyes. “It’s been almost ten years since my parents died, it’s fine. And honestly, the fact that Rachel was twelve when they died…. Yeah, it messed her up.” He paused. “Oh wow. That’s—”

  “Ugly. I know. It’s got to be the worst custom paint job I’ve ever seen. I think the former owner was a lucha libre fan or something. There’s really no excuse for it.” Frank stared at the otherwise gorgeous plane with a frown.

  “Actually I was going to say that it is fucking amazing. Holy shit.” Benjamin’s attention snapped from awe to fascination. He walked around the plane twice, just taking in the curves, looking at it with the educated eye that only someone who knew a lot about avionic design and engineering could do. It really was a gorgeous design, and despite the paint job, there was a lot to admire about the plane. Frank stood back and let Benjamin get his fill. Finally Benjamin came over and stood next to him. “This is the closest thing to a real private flying car out there.”

  “Yep. And you are going to be flying it. Well, soon. C’mon, let’s give them room to tow it out and fuel it up. We’re going to go file a flight plan.”

  Benjamin let out a breathy “hell yeah,” and Frank decided to throw all caution to the wind: it was definitely a date.

  At least on his side.

  Benjamin went quiet again as they finally got through the preflight checklist and boarded the plane. Frank took the pilot’s seat, as he would be doing the majority of the flying. He kept glancing over at Benjamin, though, as they finally took off and soared into the air. It was always exhilarating for him, that part never changed, but he had expected that he might see something like childish joy in the other man—even near thirty, Benjamin had a soft, youthful appearance, and Frank assumed that would show through.

  Instead, what he got was something more profound than that—an expression of wonder that transcended age. Frank recognized the look instantly because it was a reflection of his own feelings the first time he went up to fly in the cockpit, and not as a passenger.

  It was the expression of a pilot being born.

  His heart tripped over in his chest, and he forced himself to focus on the instruments again, giving a running commentary of his actions as Benjamin stared at him slack-jawed in amazement, soaking up every word.

  Frank did not consider himself much of a romantic, believing he had a pragmatic nature and outlook. That belief fled when it came to flying, though. He had had few lovers whom he had ever felt as passionate about as he did flying, being behind the controls of a plane and cutting through the air with the world laid out beneath him. He knew pilots were born, not made, and that learning to fly was incidental to loving it. To him it was a terrifying thought that he could have been born in the centuries before flight. What did pilots do back then? Did they simply stare after birds in flight with misplaced longing? He wasn’t sure, but he knew it had to be awful to be permanently stuck with your feet on the ground.

  Of course he did know the pain of being grounded, but it had been temporary and voluntary. He did not fly at all for a year following his discharge, and he could not explain to anyone but other pilots how it was different for him than other people. It was not resting at ease on the earth; it was a constant sense of being trapped. His first flight after his self-imposed exile had been in his old reliable Piper Malibu, and it was more satisfying and uplifting than a lot of the sex he had been having. Fucking around aimlessly was draining, meaningless fun. Flying gave him his heart and soul back, once he recovered from the shock of getting kicked out of the Air Force.

  Or maybe just his soul. Looking at Benjamin as he put his hands on the controls for the first time, Frank suspected his heart had been dormant for the last six years. He had dated seriously only a couple of times, but even then without much investment in the person he was with. No, he decided his heart had been asleep that whole time and was starting to wake up.

  He was not entirely sure how to deal with it. It was one thing to pursue a cute guy who pushed all his buttons because it was fun and might get him laid. But everything was pointing to the fact that Frank was already way more invested in Benjamin than as a simple flyby. Hell, from one perspective, he realized he had dumped a million dollars on a used plane just to spend time alone with Benjamin.

  His attraction was not a surprise, but the blip in his heartbeat while watching Benjamin become a pilot was more than he had bargained for.

  After they touched down and went through the process of completing the flight and letting the hangar crew take over, Frank enjoyed remembering the look of awe that had settled on Benjamin’s face after they took off.

  Even as they filed the last of the postflight paperwork, Frank was still parsing all those thoughts. Normally he did the minimum and let the airport staff handle the wrap-up, but he had been in full instructor mode and wanted to show Benjamin how it was done by the book. Benjamin did it all without fussing, clearly still high on the endorphins of the flight. He practically floated out of the offices to the parking lot, trailing behind Frank as he kept staring over at the hangar.

  “How do you ever come down?” Benjamin asked wistfully as he got into the passenger side.

  Frank sighed heavily as he put his seat belt on. “Planes need fuel, so you have to land eventually. In-flight refueling is a bitch.”

  Benjamin scoffed. “You know what I meant.”

  “I did. I guess you just remember that you can always go back up again.”

  “See, this is why I do what I do.” Benjamin settled into the car seat with an exaggerated squirm. “If I had a flying car, I could do this every day. Without a pilot’s license, even! I could fly every day, Frank!” He glared at Frank like it was his fault that Benjamin was not, in fact, flying every day.

  “Sorry?”

  Benjamin sighed heavily.

  Frank decided to move in for the kill. “I’m hungry; let’s eat.”

  “Together?”

  “I could push you out of the car into traffic and be on my way, if you want.”

  “Fine. Fine! Let’s go eat. I’m really hungry. Huh.” He rubbed his belly, and Frank tried not steer them into a ditch by watching.

  “Flying is hard work. Also it’s been nearly three hours since I picked you up at the salon.”

  “What?” Benjamin checked his smart watch. “What the hell?”

  “There was prep time and instruction time and flight time and postflight bureaucracy. I always lose time when I’m flying for fun.” He headed for his favorite steak house, which by then was open for dinner. “Not so much flying for work, that’s just pure stress.”

  “I can imagine.” Benjamin wrinkled his nose. “I still don’t get why you do it, though. You can afford to fly for fun all the time. Why work a stressful job?”

  “Because it’s more normal than being a spoiled rich boy who can fly whenever he wants,” Frank answered without stopping to think.

  Benjamin looked over at him thoughtfully but did not say anything. He stayed silent even when Frank had a valet pa
rk his car and they were led into a private dining booth with curtains that closed to block them from view of other diners.

  Finally, looking at the menu, Benjamin spoke up. “I’ve heard of menus without prices on them, but I’ve never seen one before.”

  Frank blinked, looked down at his menu, which did have prices on it, and laughed. “They think you are my date.”

  Benjamin raised his eyebrows.

  “I didn’t tell them that,” Frank clarified.

  “Do you often bring your dates to the best steak house in town for an early dinner?”

  Frank pondered that. “Once or twice, when I was actually dating. Not often, and that was a couple of years ago. You know what, I’m betting Nancy has the maître d’ on retainer to watch out for me dating anyone.”

  Benjamin tensed up and Frank replayed what he had just said. “Nothing nefarious about it—probably just because she’s a protective and nosy older sister.”

  “Who happens to be running for governor!” Benjamin hissed, leaning over the table and using the menu to shield his face, despite the fact they were behind a curtain already.

  Frank sighed and sat back in his chair. “Look, it’s who I am, it’s who my family is. You know that. You spotted me the first time we met in a hair salon, even if you pretended not to.”

  Benjamin also sat back, putting the menu down. “It’s weird for me. I guess you’re just used to it.”

  “I am, but doesn’t mean I like it. I enjoyed the egalitarian anonymity of the Air Force. At least my sister couldn’t spy on me there.” She had probably tried, but she was not a powerful enough politician back then to get anywhere with it.

  “Admittedly, I ask Marie at the front desk to report on Rachel,” Benjamin said thoughtfully.

  Frank snorted. “Well, there you go, then. You know where Nancy is coming from.”

  Benjamin chewed on his bottom lip. “Her husband’s firm represented you during the discharge, didn’t they? Makes sense.”

  If it was anyone else, Frank would have assumed that he was fishing for information. But it was Benjamin, who already knew the whole story, probably because he was a nosy bastard himself. “She was livid.” He took a deep breath. “It was a bad time for me, and she was there, siccing her lawyer husband on me to keep me from just giving up. She wanted to go after the other guy, but I wouldn’t let them. Honestly I don’t even remember his name at this point. I should… I should feel bad about that. He got kicked out too.”

  “Did he?”

  “Last I knew. He cut a deal so he got an administrative discharge, I think. Can’t say I followed up.”

  Benjamin chuckled. “Yeah, I can understand why not. Kind of a jackass thing to do.”

  “Every man for himself on a sinking ship. We got caught midcoitus. The MP got an eyeful!” Frank laughed ruefully, remembering that part of the night too well.

  Benjamin rolled his eyes. “Can’t say I want the details of it. Although, doing the nasty in your office—not the smartest move, Sheldon.”

  “Wow, no one’s ever told me that before,” Frank deadpanned.

  “Yeah, okay.” Benjamin cringed. “Sorry.”

  “I wasn’t thinking straight. Honestly? Here’s the part most people don’t know: I was on the rebound from a nasty breakup.” Frank let that information just slip out, easy and plain, and felt nothing about it. It was a secret he had never shared outside of the family before, but the expected twist in his stomach didn’t happen. It was just like talking about any other ex.

  Benjamin, though, was staring at him with wide, shocked eyes. “No shit?” he said weakly, then shoved his face into the menu.

  “That upsets you?” Frank tried to understand the reaction. He was foiled by their waiter coming in to take their orders.

  When the waiter left, Benjamin took a big breath. “No, it doesn’t upset me. Surprises me. I guess I just have a hard time imagining that.”

  Frank folded, unfolded, and refolded his napkin. “We’d been together for years, off and on. I can’t say it was a healthy relationship, and we had done a lot to hurt each other. I’ve got nothing good to say about that fucker at this point, for a lot of reasons. But I was young and in the closet and thought I was in love. He got married to please his parents and I guess decided it was time to make me his official mistress. Hell if I know.” Frank also took a deep breath. “That did it for me. I had broken up with him before, but that’s when I realized I wasn’t in love with him, not anymore. Maybe I never was? You remember your first love?”

  Benjamin nodded. “High school was messy” was all he offered with a shrug.

  “No shit,” Frank said, laughing. “Anyway, now you know more than anyone else outside of the family.”

  “Wow. That’s… that’s an honor? I guess?”

  “Just don’t sell the story to TMZ.”

  Benjamin laughed uncomfortably. “Who’d believe me, anyway?”

  Frank nodded at that, because: true. “Nancy would have my ass, in a heartbeat. She’s already up in arms about this race; I can’t escape it.”

  “It’s not like anyone can escape your sister’s campaign. It’s all over the news.”

  “Good point.” Frank grimaced. “I like helping her out, but it’s a drain. I’m still flying three twelve-hour shifts a week, and that’s full-time for a pilot. It takes a lot out of you. But then I’ve got to run around to all of her dinners and rallies… gah.” Frank closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair.

  “She’s, ah, a bit of a rebel.”

  Frank nodded, pausing while he collected his thoughts. “Look, I’m not voting for her just because she’s my sister. And if I really disagreed with her platform, I wouldn’t let the family bully me into helping her. She’s a good person, and she’s a damn good manager. She gets things done. Father likes having a politician in the family, but it’s more than that for her. She’s a true believer.”

  “Well, there have been some scandals.” Benjamin talked slowly, carefully, staring into his coffee. There was something odd about it that Frank could not place, until he did.

  “Oh hell, that whole shitstorm that MudzNewz raked up about her Costa Rican vacation home.”

  Benjamin blinked, then colored red again. “You read MudzNewz?”

  “I have to, don’t I? Shit. Look, that was a bad deal, I agree, but Nancy didn’t know what that guy was doing. She vets her staff, but you can’t catch every crook—my father would tell you that. She was blindsided by the whole thing. Fuck that MudzNewz, seriously.”

  “Hey, he’s just trying to get at the truth.”

  “I think he’s trying to get into my pants,” Frank barked with a bitter laugh. Benjamin paled.

  “What?”

  “Why the hell do you think I’m on the campaign staff now? Because apparently Nancy’s campaign manager thinks MudzNewz has a crush on me. It’s fucked-up. We don’t even know if this guy is a guy… or hell, even an American. So don’t ask me to be nice about that site, because it nearly derailed my sister’s career once already and it’s the reason I’m not going to get any sleep for the rest of the year.” He rolled his shoulders. “Let’s not talk about that. My sister is stressing me out. We have a meeting with Father later this week, so let’s talk about that instead.”

  “Sure, because that’s less stressful?” Benjamin looked at him incredulously.

  “For me, yeah.” Frank laughed at Benjamin’s sour expression. It lightened the mood from all the self-revelation, and they managed to relax for the rest of the dinner. Whether it was officially a date or not, it was the best date Frank had been on in years.

  Chapter Thirteen

  BENJAMIN SHOWED up at the headquarters of Grace Lifesciences International dressed in a halfway decent but obviously been-around-the-block suit. His tie was bright blue sprinkled with images of old biplanes, which made Frank grin.

  “Ready?”

  “No, absolutely not.” Benjamin nodded.

  “Right then, let’s do this.” Frank hauled B
enjamin by his arm into the building, giving security only a passing glance as they walked to the elevators. He used his special key card to get them to the top floor where his father’s business suite was, then pushed Benjamin out of the door.

  “Justin, how are you?” Frank stopped at the receptionist’s desk, knowing he would buzz his father to let him know they were there.

  “Great, Mr. Sheldon. Is this Dr. Kaplan?” Justin, who had moved from intern to receptionist five years ago and stayed there, chirped with his usual effervescent charm.

  “You know who I am?” Kaplan suddenly looked panicked.

  “Of course! Dr. Sheldon is waiting. Have a great day!”

  Frank did not stick around for more pleasantries and headed off, hauling Benjamin behind him. His father’s personal assistant, Sally, just flapped a hand at him as they walked past her desk.

  He had to hand it to his father: the man was smooth and kind and polite. For as much of a shark as he was in business matters, he was a genuinely nice guy, and Frank sometimes forgot that while he was busy butting heads with him. His father shook Benjamin’s hand warmly and invited them to sit at the smaller, more intimate casual table (as opposed to the ostentatious boardroom table that dominated half the office).

  “Thanks for emailing me the business plan so I could look it over, Dr. Kaplan.”

  Benjamin nodded, for once completely mute.

  “So, Father, what do you think?” Frank chimed in after a moment of silence.

  That was all it took to switch his father into business mode. He eviscerated the general idea in the nicest way possible, then produced his own marked-up copy and proceeded to go over it page by page, graph by graph. By page twenty-two, Benjamin rallied and was bouncing questions off of him, waving his hands around to make his point or agree or make his own notes. Frank was impressed by Benjamin’s business acumen, which though inexperienced was pretty thorough. His father did not humor anyone for any reason and would not have bothered to spend his time discussing the business if it had not at least met his own criteria. It was also pretty clear that his father had done a crash course on the current state of the video game industry. Frank had no idea what they were talking about, but all in all, it was a total success, and Frank could not wipe the grin off his face as the two other men wrapped things up.